Reviewing the Ink-Centric Card Game of 'No Regerts'
You ever have one of those days where no matter what you type or text or tattoo on somebody, you just cannot seem to spell write... rihgt... correctly? Well, luckily there are several easy corrective methods such as backspace, white-out, laser removal, and amputation. And if all else fails, regert nothing and rock out that embarrassingly misspelled permanent, ink-filled brand on your skin until the grammar police come knocking on your door demanding justice.
No Regerts is an entertaining, tattoo-themed, PVP-style card game by Poisonfish Games. It puts you and up to 1-5 other players against each other to be the first to acquire 18 tattoos on your body (3 on each arm, 3 on each leg, 3 on your back, and 3 on your chest). Not only are you trying to acquire those tattoos before anyone else, but you're trying to get the most positive tattoos on your body too, because in the end, it is quality not quantity that matters.
Each player is dealt five cards, and each player also gets a handy, two-sided player reference card. One side houses a chart that outlines the format of the way cards are played on your "body". The other side has a description of your turn order. There are 4 things that happen on your turn. All but step two are MANDATORY.
Step one dictates that you absolutely HAVE to get a tattoo. You can play a bad tattoo on yourself for free (we all have that one friend with the homemade tattoo gun, right?), but quality art has to be paid for. So if you really want that epic grim reaper riding a T-Rex tattoo, you're going to have to dish out some dinero. Payment in this game is done by discarding another positive tattoo face up in the discard pile, so to play a positive, you have to pay a positive. The number aside from the positive/negative part doesn't matter, so yes, you can pay for a tattoo worth 7 points with one worth 2 points (or vice versa if you really really want to). Why would you want a bad tattoo? Well, because it is a mandatory step and maybe you can't pay for the positive one you have or you have no positive ones. Also, some tattoos (both positive and negative) have some special effects that occur when you play that tattoo!
Step two is completely optional. There are several modifier cards in the deck that do various things. You can play the titular "No Regerts" card to cover up any negative tattoo and make it positive instead. You can play a "Poorly Drawn" tattoo on another player to make a positive tattoo negative. You can even play the infamous but fiendishly fun "Bad Advice" tattoo and convince that buddy of yours across the table that they really need that pretty little Princess tattoo right on their back (convincing part not required, just plaster it on). If you have any more tattoos in your hand that you still want to play on yourself, you can even do that during step two. Just make sure you can pay for it if it is positive. And also, make sure you meet the requirements of step three...
The required Step Three: you have to discard one card you selfish hoarder you. It doesn't matter if it is good or bad or the best card you have ever seen in your entire life, its got to go! Life is full of loss, and even a great tattoo sags and wrinkles with age. It's time you learned that, young Tattawan. Let it go. (I profusely apologize for any horrid Disney songs now stuck in your head).
Step Four, the last step of your turn and the last mandatory step, is that you have to draw back up to your hand size. I'm not sure why you would want to skip this step anyway, but there it is. Your standard hand size is five cards, however there are some tattoos that increase that for you.
Well, that's all good and well, but what happens if I don't have any tattoos to play and my hand is full of modifiers? Or what happens if I have a hand full of modifiers and only one positive tattoo that I can't pay for. Well, lucky for you, there is an Optional Turn that takes the place of all four steps described above. This option allows you to pass your turn. You basically pay in two cards of any choice to the discard pile and draw back up to your hand size and end your turn. It's pretty much like going to the tattoo shop and seeing a tattoo you really want but not having enough to pay for it so you ask them to come down in price or make it smaller or something and then they punch you in the nose and take your money anyway for being disrespectful. And in return, you'll probably draw a bad tattoo that you'll have to play next time. Lucky for you, Poisonfish Games hasn't yet released the NSFW deck they were talking about because you'd probably draw one of those.
Another note on tattoos and placement, before any tattoo is on a particular part of the body, that part of the body is considered closed. It is canvas that the owner has not yet decided to decorate and must await their decision. But once you open that spot by playing your first tattoo on it, that's when it's open season for anyone wanting to make use of one of some bad advice! So sometimes it is best to fill something up as quick as you can, or just don't open up too many options for others. Otherwise you might get your ex's name or an epic company logo (WYLD Gaming anyone?) placed on you.
As far as PVP-styled card games go, No Regerts is a very enjoyable addition to the genre. It's just enough Take-That to have some competitive fun without being too over the top and unenjoyable for others playing, and the interesting strategy of balancing negatives and positives and hoping for that perfect modifier to fix up your negatives that you just had to play makes it very fun. There's a slight risk to some of your choices and when you have something lined up perfectly it can all get turned on it's head. WYLD Gaming gives No Regerts a HOOVES UP as a fun addition to bring out to the table. You can pick up the game on their website now at https://poisonfishgames.com/no-regerts/ .
Please note, WYLD Gaming was provided this game for review purposes but was not otherwise compensated in any manner, nor were their words, results, or review scores influenced in any way by anyone outside of the author's own opinions and perspective. If you've enjoyed this review, we encourage you to share it with others to help WYLD Gaming get similar opportunities in the future while also helping the game being reviewed get more attention for their product. Thank you!